Joseph the Weeper

This year, I have been reading through the Life Journal plan that helps you read through the entire bible in a year.  I would recommend it for everyone. (Today is a great day to join in, since we start Exodus today.)

Over the last week, we have been finishing the book of Genesis, where the focus of the book shifts to the character of Joseph.  Here is a recap of the story of Joseph.  Jacob(or Israel) loves Joseph. Joseph dreams. His brothers are jealous, so they sell him. Joseph gets sold into slavery, pursued by his master's wife, and thrown in prison.  Despite his series of unfortunate events, God makes him successful in all he does.  Eventually,  he is give a position of authority after he finds favor in Pharaoh's eyes.  He saves the lives of many people because he predicts and prepares for a severe famine in the land.

But Joseph is also weeper. He is not your occasional cryer; Joseph cries ALOT.  Aside from David, Joseph weeps more than any other character in the bible.  (I did not fact check this.) Why does Joseph weep so much? Well, frankly he has plenty of reason to weep every night. He was betrayed and forgotten by all of his family for many years.  And yet, I think it is misleading to assume Joseph weeps due to the accumulated bitterness from his family's actions.  Joseph weeps for days, weeks, and moments missed.  Joseph is overwhelmed with emotion when he sees his family because despite their lack of care for him, Joseph deeply cares that they are alive and well. Compassion and a heart full of forgiveness drive Joseph's emotions and interactions with a family who betrayed him. There is something beautifully redemptive in each circumstance where Joseph weeps. Here are the times when Joseph weeps:

Joseph weeps the first time he sees his brothers after his brothers had sold him to Midianite Merchants.
Genesis 42:24: He turned away from them and began to weep, but then turned back and spoke to them again.

Joseph sees Benjamin for the first time in a long time.
Genesis 43:30: Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep.  He went into his private room and wept there.

In Genesis 45, Joseph finally lets the cat out of the bag and reveals to his brothers his true identity.
Genesis 45:2: And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard him, and Pharaoh's household heard about it.

Genesis 45:14-15: Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them Afterward his brothers talked with him.

Joseph sees his Father for the first time since he went missing.
Genesis 46:29 Joseph had his chariot made ready and went to Goshen to meet his father Israel.  As soon as Joseph appeared before him, he threw his arms around his father and wept for a long time.

Joseph weeps over the loss of his Father.
Genesis 50:1: Joseph through himself upon his father and wept over him and kissed him.

And finally, Joseph weeps as reconciliation continues with his brothers.
Genesis 50:17: (Joseph's brothers) "This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly. Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father."  When their message came to him, Joseph wept.


Here is what can we learn from Joseph the weeper:

Allow yourself to feel. Joseph wept both publicly and privately.  Joseph did not suppress his emotion, but rather he was self-aware.  We must be first self-aware of our own emotions, shortcomings, pains, and sins, so that  they will be brought into the light of God's love, grace, and truth. By allowing himself to feel, he was able to show and express his love and care for others.

Forgiveness. Reconciliation. And Restoration. Would you be able to forgive the people that royally screwed you over? Joseph does, and forgives and provides for the people that betrayed him.  Joseph extends grace to people who didn't deserve grace.  The story of Joseph is a beautiful depiction of the fullness of the gospel. God extends his love and grace to people, like me, who do not deserve it.

The mission of God is bigger than our current circumstances. Joseph says it best as he reassures his brothers that he has indeed forgiven them. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."

Grace

At the church that I attend, the pastor encouraged us at the start of the year to ask God for a word that would become our theme for 2013.  This theme would be a focal point of our spiritual growth in 2013.  Well, I have never been big on New Year's Resolutions, so naturally it took me until February before I took the pastor's encouragement seriously.

For 2013, God is wanting me to reflect on, remember, and understand GRACE.

Here are a few ways this theme of grace is already challenging me in my daily life.

1.  I am in desperate need of God's gracious acceptance of me being my identity.  I know that He is my creator, and He formed me.  But truthfully, I often feel loved only if I perform well in life, school, relationships, or in Christianity.  You see in my life, I learned performing well in school, ministry, and life earned me accolades, attention, and love.  The funny thing about being loved through performing is that you always have to perform more.  Well, this year instead of performing, I want to trust in his graceful love.

God's gracious acceptance of me will change the way I handle sin and temptation because now I won't have to handle it.  I wallow in sin.  When I struggle with lust, my tendency is to bury it deeply and hope no one finds out.  Shame overwhelms me.  I beat myself up for doing something stupid, while at the same time trying to fix the problem so it doesn't happen again.  But God in his grace pursues me in the midst of my sin.  He pursues me knowing my sin.

Remembering grace will not just change how I interact with myself in my thoughts, but it will also change the way I act with others.  During my first year of marriage, I learned that I have the tendency to hold Elise to hold the same standard that I hold myself to.  I am rigid.  Things have to look a certain way.  As I remember and understand God's grace for me, I pray that in 2013 I will treat others with the same grace that I myself have received.  I hope all my relationships are transformed by this reality, but I especially hope this principle continues to grow and develop intimacy in my relationship with my wife.

Yes or No

Do you want to go out with me? Check box yes or no
Would you like steak for dinner? yes or no
Bill Clinton, did you have sexual relationships with Monica Lewinsky? yes or no
Mom, can I have dessert for breakfast?

Yes or no.  On any given day we answer many yes or no questions.  Some yes or no questions are fairly insignificant   Our "yes" or "no" speaks of what we want or prefer if given the choice between to options.  Some yes or no answers are life-altering decisions like when a teenager says no to someone who wants them to smoke pot.  A yes to a Lordship relationship with Jesus can have life and eternal implications.  A lot can hang on a "yes" or a "no."

But what happens when the same question is answered both "yes" and "no" by different people.  Sometimes a fight.  Sometimes war.  This scenario is a dream come true for children.  For kids this is the oldest trick in the book.  Say a kid wants to go to the movies with some friends.  The kid goes to his mom and asks her for permission to go to the movies.  The mom says no, much to the dismay of the child.  What does the child do next?  With the goal of still getting what he wants, he will ask the same question to his dad.  And much to the dismay of the mom, the dad says yes.  And with a simple yes and a simple no, conflict has been created.

This reflection on yes and no was spurred on by my reading of Genesis 17 this morning.  In Genesis 17 we are in the middle of the story of Abram and Sarai who get there names changed by God to Abraham and Sarah.  Abram in the previous chapters had slept with Hagar, who was Sarai's servant, because Sarai had been barren up until that point.  From this encounter, Hagar had born Abram a son, Ishmael, to continue his line.  But God intervenes in chapter 17 and tells Abram that Sarai will bear a child at age 90!  Abram laughs at first, but then he pleads with God for Ishmael to continue to live before God. And then comes the confusing "yes" and "no" answer by biblical scholars as they have interpreted this text.

Now before we explore God's answer, how incredible is it that we serve and are loved by a God who comes in our midst.  In the beginning of Chapter 17 it says the Lord appeared to Abram when he was 99 years old.  It also says at the end of the conversation that God "went up" after he had talked with Abram.  God came down to talk with Abram.  God came down to care and provide for Abram.  In this process, Abram laughed and asked questions, and God answered and responded.  This is God, a being who shows His care and love by His continued presence in His relationship with us.

But how does God answer the question of will Ishmael continue to live before God?  As an American influenced by the agenda of the evangelical right, I know the answer to this question!  No, Ishmael was not blessed by God, but he was cursed by God.  Ishmael will be a wild donkey of a man and his hand will always be against everyone.  The bible says so.

Today, I read 4 different versions of the bible to reflect on Genesis 17:19 where God does indeed answer this question.  Low and behold, 3 versions answer the question with a "no,"(NKJV, ESV, NLT) while one version reads "yes." (NIV)  One question.  Two answers with two totally different directions.  Why is this yes or no significant?  It affects the way we view people of Muslim background.  Are they are enemies?  Are things the way they are now because God cursed them?   Or are they under God's blessing too?

Thankfully, there is extremely similar content in the succeeding verses in all versions of the bible.  This is from the ESV: "But Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac.  I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his offspring after him.  As for Ishmael, I have heard you; behold, I have blessed him and will make him fruitful and multiply him greatly.  He shall father twelve princes, and I will make him into a great nation.  (italics mine)

As I looked in the Hebrew, I saw no "yes" or "no" words in the Hebrew text.  I admit I do not know any Hebrew currently, so there maybe evidence to say yes or no based on the structure of the sentence or the verb conjugations used.  Regardless, it makes me wonder why there is a yes or a no to begin with.  It is important to note that both Ishmael and Isaac lived under God's blessing, but God chose to start and continue his covenant through Isaac and not Ishmael.  Ishmael was not cursed, he was blessed by God.

Paul's Humility

Yesterday, the pastor preached on Luke 7:36-50.  Through this story he began to talk about the self righteousness and pride of Simon in the story.  He also talked about the attitude and a humility that a true follower of Jesus should possess.  He used Paul as an example:

Here are three different verses Paul wrote through his letters.  We are familiar with most of them, but I am going to put the date of which each of these verses were written.  

"I am the least of all the apostles." I Corinthians 15:9  (55 AD)

"I am the very least of all the saints." Ephesians 3:8  (60 AD)

"I am the chief of all sinners." 1 Timothy 1:15     (63 AD)

This was pretty remarkable to me.  Keep in mind as these letters are written by Paul, he is having more and more influence in the early church.  He is beginning to have the respect of every believer in many provinces.  And yet he does not have an ego that is growing as his ministry grows.  As each year progresses in his ministry, he is more and more aware of his humanity.  Paul boasts, but he boasts in the Lord, not himself.

I think these three verses give us great insight into spiritual maturity as well.  Ministry, life, and relationship with God are not a journey walked by self-reliance.  Spiritual maturity happens as we depend on God more fully.  As Paul became more aware of his actual state, the power of the risen Lord was displayed through him magnificently.  

In II Corinthians 10:5 it says, "We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God."

I think this is a statement that is true for nonbelievers and believers alike.  Pride, self-righteousness, self-reliance are all examples of proud obstacles that keep us from knowing God.  

What proud obstacles in your life are keeping you from knowing God more intimately?

How do you view yourself and others? Do you see yourself as better than most?

Are you ok with others knowing you as the self-proclaimed chief of all sinners?

The way we see ourselves changes how much we rely on God.  And how much we rely on God will allow more opportunities for God to be glorified through us.  

Chuch (Southern for Church)

Today, Elise and I went to church at First Alliance which is located in Lexington, Kentucky.  This was our fourth time to attend this church, and Elise and I recently decided this will be our church home while we are in Kentucky!  We have already made some really great connections with many people there, and we hope to get involved in the college and young adult ministry and help some individuals who desire to start an international bible study.  First Alliance church is also a church which is very big on equipping and sending missionaries, which is a great fit for us as well.


The sermon was over Luke 7: 36-50.  The pastor is very gifted speaker.  He is very insightful, encourages reflection, and very poetic with his words.  In the story he preached on, we find Jesus invited to dinner at a man named Simon's house.  When Jesus takes his place at the table, a woman who is a notorious sinner (probably prostitute) begins to wet and wipe Jesus's feet.  Simon saw this, and judged Jesus and the woman for what was happening in his home.  Jesus then tells a parable about two men who each have a debt.  One debt was greater than the other, but each debt was cancelled.  Jesus asked Simon,  "Who loved him more?"  Simon correctly answered, "The one with the greater debt."
Jesus then pointed out several things Simon had not done that were cultural practices which honored guests in homes.  The kiss of peace, the washing of feet, and the anointing of a guest's head with oil.  And yet, the woman did.

After lunch, we were hosted by a married couple our age named Joel and Jenny.  We had an incredible time.  We really got along great with them.  It is really exciting to see God shaping community around us.  Some of it you can see coming, and other parts are totally unexpected.  I love eating with people, and I am looking forward to eating with them again many times.

Construction

Moving to a new town can be very adventurous. You have the opportunity to form new relationships, find new hobbies, and many times find a new job.  For the past month and a half, I have been working for a guy named Ray doing construction jobs in the city of Wilmore and surrounding Kentucky countryside.  Work hours have been far from consistent, and I often find out when I will work 15 minutes before I need to be there.  I'm learning God is faithful and our Provider even when circumstances may seem otherwise.

I chose to work in construction for two reasons. 1) It was the first job I found.  And 2) Elise and I want to be missionaries.  Many of you know me.  Especially the 25+ roommates I've had live with me through my college years. With a track record like that, I wonder how Elise makes it with me.  Anyways, I don't think one of my friends, family members, or former roommates would use the adjective "handyman" to ever describe my list of attributes. Yet, here I am in a job that requires a variety of skills to complete each and every task.  Most days that I work, I suck. I'm learning.  I hope these "handy" skills that I am learning will be of good use when we are in another country for longterm.

So far, my favorite thing about working in construction is not the skills I have learned, but the people I have come to know.  I have worked for two different contractors in the last 6 weeks.   One of my bosses is a former Asbury Seminary Grad from 2004 who has already taken a break from the ministry.  My other boss had a bad car accident that prevents him from continuing his electrician profession.  There is some pretty deep hurt and pain that comes up casually in conversations as we work hours on hours with each other.  I pray God will continue to be present in these conversations.  I think there is work he wants to do.

Father's Day Reflections

Today, I spent Father's day 1177 miles away from my dad.  In the last two weeks, I have moved from Lubbock, Texas to the town of Wilmore, Kentucky.  Father's day was the first holiday or special occasion which reminded me of all the valuable relationships I left many miles away.  I miss them all.  But today, I was comforted as a reflected on some precious memories of my daddy that I would like to share.

I remember when I was 5 years old having a guys night "in" with my dad.  The girls probably went shopping or something, so my dad and I had the house all to ourselves.  What did the boys choose to do? Turn the living room into a wrestle-mania center with one catch: you could only wear underwear.  The look on Mom and Haley's face when they arrived home told of us how silly we were.

In that same year, my mom and I found a snake in a tree one summer afternoon as we were playing catch in the front yard.  I don't recall my reaction, but I know my mom freaked out.  She phoned my dad, and he rushed home a friend from the La Tech Wesley. They began to throw every ball in the house at a snake on a branch some 40 feet in the air.  My job was to collect all the misfires and bring them back.  Some 40 minutes later the snake was knocked out of the tree, and I was having the funnest afternoon of my childhood.

I remember when I was in fifth grade.  I was a sports fanatic.  Not only did I watch Sportscenter 3 times a day, I also played every sport I could.  That summer I was pitching for my baseball team in Lubbock, TX.   My friends called me "El Duke" because I had the most out-of-control leg kick in the history of baseball.  It was ugly.  But that day I was pitching the game of my life.  I had struck out 10 batters, and only allowed a few hits.  It was the last inning, and we were down by one run.  I was on third base when the pitcher from the other team through a wild pitch.  I dashed for home, but the ball beat me there.  Then I made a slide where I slid under the tag to touch home plate before the ball touched me.  What a play, except that the ump screamed OUT!  I remember crying all the way back to the dugout (I was that kid).  My dad's reaction?  He was CLIMBING the fence arguing the call with the ump.  He may have been out-of-control or crazy, but my dad fought for me.

My dad is also a pastor.  I have been blessed by all the conversations I have shared with my dad whether in a one-on-one, family, or group setting.  But my dad's sermons have shaped me into who I am.  He taught me more than just right and wrong, he taught me what it meant for Jesus to be Lord.  His sermons taught me what it means to be a man, what it means to be forgiven, what it means to be humble, and what it means to be dependent on him.  It's pretty unique to have my dad be my pastor, but I am beyond blessed to have been shaped by the Holy Spirit speaking through his words.

Today I carry my dad with me.  I love to be silly. I love to be fun.  I will fight for those I love.  And I love Jesus.

I also LOVE my dad.